Upcoming CHITOWPO! Events

2009-09-05T16:20:00.001-07:00

Poetree Supremecy Steel Cage Death Match & CHITOWPO Writer's Conference
pay money to be on a writer's conference panel and have roses thrown at your feet by legions of adoring fans! then head over to the Steel Cage to Battle other poets to the death for the most Power!

Three Vagrant Homes Babbling in Back Alley
complimentary champagne, half-rotten lettuce leaves & spam

PJ Piety & Friends Cram It Up Uranus Festival
CHITOWPOCAL Church & Asylum, 123 Supreme Leader St, #3w
me and my friends will be reading cool poems. enjoy a clip from the upcoming documentary, the PJ Piety Story, or "How I Anusreamed the Chitowposcene".
no vaginas allowed.

Scholars "How We Are Better Than You" lecture
Hosted by imminent professors of Academic Assrape who are Better Than You, babble in Academia (with intelligensia translators and sign language interpretors) about how much truly Better they are than you. Incomprehensible, button-gazing poetry and Auction.
Harvard Art School Center of the Arts, Department of Redundancy Department, 2nd Floor #2.
fancy vegan cheese and crackers provided.
$50 suggested donation. Black Tie.

Wet T-Shirt Po Contest
12-212 women, eachwith a word tattooed on each tit, come together in this inspiring event hosted by PJ "Mr. Chicago Potry" to spell out popular Frost poems.
No dry vaginas allowed.
Drinky's Pub, 12237 Chicago Ave

Negative Infinity: Screaming In Your Face For Justice Revolution
a group of slam poets yell about how everone except rich white males are horrible oppressed and nobody knows about it. A "Beginning Poets" series presentation.
Featuring 14-yr-old. chitowslampo prodigy F!st 4eva and 37-yr-old chislampo prodigy Mr. Wigglez.
Free & open to the pubelick.

Feminists of Feminism Ball-Crushing Contest
outraged feminists talk about how much they hate men.
Complimentary Bra-burning & witches brew (testicles & lettuce, Vegan alternative Statue of David Tofu sculpture)
No Penises allowed.

Zebra Zine Meeting
15 broke, stoneds poets get together to talk about how maybe they should put out a shitty zine sometime.
complimentary alcoholism
2 joint suggested donation
"bring the kidds!!"-aachkay

PJ Piety Po Sleepover EXTRAVAGANZA!!!
Come on down to muh house for some REAL chitowpo read by Me and my really tight friends (who will also be reading excerpts from my master-work, How The Breasts Were Won)
complimentary smiling photo-autographs and multi-breast-signings
No h8rz

Starving Artist Starveathon
Poet chained to futon in Museum of Euro-Dom.-Decadence slowly starve to death while being pelted with actual rejection letters from highly regarded CHITOWPO publications
Hosted by CHITOWSNOBPOMAG
$10

Draino Cafe Ope' Mic Nite
Hosted by your host, Viktor "Vomit" McNutty(who let you in here?)
Featured poet PJ Piety & Friends & the Tambourine-Kazoo Band will be frequently interrupted by your host putting a paper bag over his head while reciting from PJ's master-work, Gimmie Dem Boobiez or Gimmie DeathBourbon and screaming frothy psychobabble from lobotomizedschizonitemares the govt transmitted into his skull during the great secret war of the gnomes. $5 suggested donation

Art House Anarchy Party
Rod & Steve are having a house party and putting all their friend's art on the walls. gather to talk about your favorite 9/11 conspiracy, who is fucking who how, and what art really means to you. or just vomit on the sofa and passout in it. bring beer.

CHITOWPO Corporate Sponsorship Workshop
Guest lecturer Ronald McDonald, along with representatives from AMACO, BOING, ACME, & MaltMartDisneyMarvelVerizon-freudenBordersPETA Conglom-Co., instruct YOU on how to turn your chitowpo dreamz into internatltowpocorp reality. Topics include: Fast Food & Poetry, Small Press Schmall Presse, & Thinking Bigger Than You Are Probably Thinking & How To Do That & Continue To Do That Successfully
"Making your dreams a reality, silly."-R.McDonald
With featured reading from The Crucifixion of PJ Piety

CHITOWPOCAL!!!

Upcoming CHITOWPO! Events